Co-parenting with a toxic ex comes with a set of hurdles. Well, the last few nights ex has been answering and has a few questions for me before allowing the kids to talk. He was the love of my life. ASK LINDA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST & CHOICE MOM: My ex-partner and I share joint custody of our 12-year-old son, but now she’s stopping me from having any contact with him. And if your child refuses to talk to you, don’t refuse to talk to him. I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. If you don't feel that you can speak openly with your ex about an issue, or it wouldn't be safe to do so, you should formally ask the court to modify your existing child custody agreement. Q: My ex refuses to return child to me at drop off point if I don't speak with him, alone just the two of us. Additionally, your ex-spouse should not be turning your child against you or trying to get your child to refuse visitation. Major decisions regarding the child’s health, education, and well-being are made together. In a previous blog post, we explored the meaning of joint custody and reviewed some scenarios in which it would be the appropriate custodial situation for a child. Letting your ex know upfront what they can do to alleviate your concerns could get your family's visitation schedule back on track. However, there's not a lot of tolerance when a child exercises that willpower by refusing visitation. Children express resistance to staying with their other parent in different ways. Talk to your ex. Go with the flow. If he does file and both of you claim the same dependents and he files first, you may be blocked from e-filing. 'After a few hours of staying at mine, my son says he wants to go home and doesn’t want to stay overnight.' Remember, we don’t want to start fights. My ex has anger issues and has harassed me for … So, in most situations, unless it can be proven that you will pose a risk to, or harm, your child, you will usually be granted some kind of contact. In Washtenaw County we have a system called the Family Wizard to help parents talk civilly about the child. Even though you may have a custody and access schedule, a parenting plan, a separation agreement, or court order that says when you spend time with your child, your partner may not let you see your child. I've been divorced for some years now and we have joint custody of our two boys, ages 10 and 8. Parents often lament that children have minds of their own, and there's no doubt that this statement rings true for many families. 2. My problem is that he will not communicate with me at all. Once the smoke has cleared from a divorce, former spouses have to go about the business of raising kids together. Keep track of all the missed visits and make notes with as much detail as possible. Such a MN cliche, but I used to get really pissed off with my ex for giving DS undiluted fruit shoot and ribena at 14 months old! For example, 2 of the kids were sick on 'his' day and he kept them home from school, and never told me either that they were sick or they had been kept home. And take heart: most cases of visitation refusal are temporary. Today we are going to be talking about why your ex refuses to talk to you after a breakup. When you obtain child custody, you have the right to make decisions for your child and you are the legal guardian. Write a letter. How Your Narcissistic Ex Really Feels About Child Support. My ex refuses to let me talk to my children when I call them, while they are visiting him for a week in the summer. Talk to the absent parent. If you are making up reasons why you need to talk to them, then perhaps you need to get closure from yourself. But you weren't married to a reasonable person. We are going to be looking at advanced psychological research on ghosting, reputable polls about breakups and drawing on my own experience of coaching people for a living to come up with legitimate reasons for why your ex won’t talk to you.. Oh, and I haven’t even told you about the best part yet. Have your attorney send a letter to your ex. Since its so late, I have told ex we will have to talk another time- please put the kids on- refuses. Older children may become withdrawn, show disinterest or just be blunt and say, 'I don’t want to go'. If it is important that the two of you need to talk, your ex will eventually open up. 2. This also gives you certain rights that you can take advantage of if your ex won’t obey the orders. A child under five may appear clingy, cry, scream or pretend to be ill. Take heart: most cases of visitation refusal are temporary withdrawn, show disinterest or just blunt... Nothing to do with you and directs his or her attention toward something someone. 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